


Jacob's Dream

by LilyK



Category: Apparitions (TV), The Professionals
Genre: Crossover, First Time, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-04-19
Packaged: 2019-04-25 04:26:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14370879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Jacob searches inside himself for what makes him happy.





	Jacob's Dream

Jacob wondered if other priests had the same sort of unsettling desires as he did. Oh, he'd been a priest long enough to understand that the vow of celibacy didn't mean that his dreams would cooperate. He expected to have those. Dreams of sex and love making. He wasn't a virgin, after all. 

It was with whom he'd had sex that came back to haunt him. Now, in his later years, those dreams came with regularity. 

Jacob remembered his first experience when he was sixteen. She'd been the same age. It had been awkward and demeaning. She'd been willing, very much so. She'd taken off her blouse and bra, and her small breasts were, if not inviting, pretty. They were pink with darker pink nipples. He knew what a woman's nipples looked like. He'd seen the magazines that Derek had stolen from under his older brother's mattress. He knew what a woman's vagina looked like as well. Derek's bounty provided a lot of information. 

Jacob realised at that moment, staring at Marjorie's breasts, that he didn't want to touch them. Not now, not ever. And not just hers. _Them_. Girl's- women's breasts. Women's bodies, those private places. He wasn't disgusted, merely uninterested. 

So to keep the peace, Jacob remarked on her beauty, the flawlessness of her skin (and it was flawless and she was beautiful). He hadn't lied. He simply didn't care. A kiss or two, some fondling, a finger in the right place (something else he learned from Derek and those magazines). Marjorie's world revolved around Jacob. 

The next week Jacob changed schools. He made new mates and avoided intimate moments with birds. All the while he longed for something more. Something solid. Something to believe in. 

Jacob finally found that _something_. He found God. He pledged himself to his Creator. Starting his studies for seminary, he delved into the scriptures in earnest. This was where he belonged! He'd found his place, and he love every second of theology training. 

It happened while on a short visit to Liverpool to meet up with one of his much-loved seminary teachers who'd taken his own parish. With a few hours of free time he'd volunteered to help out in the local soup kitchen. A young lad came in for a meal. As he picked up his tray and waited in line, Jacob couldn't stop staring. He was thin, not unappealingly so. From under a flat cap, dark hair spilled over his collar. When the lad glanced at Jacob, their eyes met. 

Handsome was Jacob's first thought. As he dished out stew, he studied the lad. There was something more. Jacob was drawn to him in a way he couldn't explain. He felt his mouth water as if the lad was a first rate meal at the best place in town. A flush rushed through him. No one had ever affected Jacob like this and it scared him. He didn't understand why this one particular bloke affected him this way. Like he was looking at someone he needed to know, to be close to. 

“Billy,” the lad said, giving Jacob a warm smile as he held out his bowl. 

“Jac- Jacob.” Jacob dumped hot stew into the bowl. Some of the gravy dripped down the lip. “Sorry.” 

“No worries, mate.” 

Billy's gaze held Jacob's. Billy was handsome but there was more to this man. Now that he was closer, Jacob realised he was more man than boy. Those eyes held belligerence but they also spoke of intelligence. This Billy wasn't the run of the mill street kid. He was solid somehow to Jacob, real in a way other men his age didn't seem to be. 

Billy gave a lopsided smile, raised an eyebrow. The eyebrow was crooked, giving him a comical appearance. 

Thankful that for the moment, Billy was alone in the serving line, Jacob laughed. Billy did as well. 

“Food looks good,” Billy said. 

“I didn't cook it.” 

“Yeah, I know that,” Billy said with a laugh. 

That laugh clinched it for Jacob. He knew that they had to talk, to see what had happened between them in the span of two minutes. But no here. The door had opened and several men filed in. 

Billy glanced at the new arrivals, turned to Jacob, and winked. This fellow was confident, and Jacob was attracted to that. 

“Pint?” Billy asked. 

“Ah, sure.” 

“When you done serving grub?” Billy asked, taking a second slice of pie from the counter that separated them. He slid it onto his tray, giving Jacob a mischievous grin. Billy knew the rules. One piece each. 

Jacob knew the rules but Billy could have all the pie he wanted, as far as Jacob was concerned. 

“Half seven,” Jacob said, licking his lips nervously. 

“You gonna take all night?” said one of the men who'd just arrived. “I'm hungry!” 

Billy ignored the intrusion. His eyes sparkled. He poked a finger into the apple pie and licked it slowly. “Then I'll take my time enjoying the nosh.” 

A wash of delight came over Jacob. He didn't bother trying to fight off the feeling. He couldn't let this Billy lad disappear into the dark! He'd never felt so excited about a pint before in his life. Seven-thirty couldn't some fast enough. An hour left, half an hour, fifteen minutes. Seven-thirty! 

Jacob grabbed his jacket. As he rushed across the road, he was thankful he wasn't wearing anything that would have given away his status as a seminary student. Then he laughed. As if Billy would have cared! It wouldn't have stopped his invitation. Jacob was sure of it. 

One pine turned into two. 

“I like you,” Billy said, wiping foam off his upper lip. 

“Me too,” Jacob said, feeling stupid. Say something intelligent? But what? 

Billy finished his beer. Jacob was slowly drinking his. Billy took the glass from Jacob's hand, his fingers lingering. 

“Yes?” Billy asked. 

“Yes,” Jacob answered. 

Two minutes later Jacob was up against the rough brick wall of the alley that ran between the pub and the haberdashery. Billy had Jacob's zip down before his knees hit the tarmac. Jacob's cock was in his mouth and Jacob's balls were in his hand. It was heaven on earth! With his head thrown back, Jacob closed his eyes, bit his lip, and let himself _feel_. 

This! This is what he needed, wanted... was! 

Jacob came with a guttural cry. He'd never had an orgasm like that in his life! When he was able to think again, he smiled down at Billy, brushed his cheek with the backs of his fingers. Afraid to dispel the magic, he didn't speak but motioned for Billy to change places. 

Standing up, Billy grinned mischievously, his dark blue eyes dancing. He eagerly took Jacob's place, unzipping his own flies. Jacob dropped to his knees, smacking his friend's and away. With newly acquired confidence, he delved into the tight jeans and sighed happily when he found his prize. 

Drawing out Billy's hard cock carefully, he stared at it. Leaned forward; smelled it. Put out a tongue; tasted it. He moaned, opened his lips and sucked. He had not learn this from Derek. Oh, no. This was all Jacob and instinct. Billy's body was wonderful. It called to him: taste me! kiss me! fuck... no, not that. Jacob was a priest. Almost a priest. He had to remain chaste to his vows. This didn't count. Right?

Only intercourse counted. This was merely a passing, mutual bit of fun. When Billy threaded his hands through Jacob's curls and moaned, Jacob returned to his pleasurable task of sucking Billy off. Billy, for his part, remained perfectly still, letting Jacob do as he pleased. 

Jacob loved the taste of Billy. He licked and sucked and nibbled until Billy let out a guttural cry. He tried to push away but Jacob latched on. He drank down every drop that Billy gave him.

It was not enough. 

But it had to be. He was ready to be a priest. Even now, he had faith and deep devotion to God. He would never forget this day, this time with Billy. He would always have these memories, and they would be what he would hold onto as the years passed by. 

Jacob stood up, laughing happily. He captured Billy's gaze and saw the pleasure he'd given reflected there. 

Billy looked back, smiled. "Shipping out in two hours. Africa. Just came back for me Gran's wake." 

"Sorry about your Gran.” Jacob felt tears spring to his eyes. “No.” 

“No?” 

Jacob had never felt so empty, or so stupid. Billy was a man of the world. What had he expected? Love? Jacob knew he was a bloody moron. Angrily he wiped at the tears. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. He's nothing to you. Nothing. Love doesn't happen like this, in a dank alley., minutes after you've met some bloke._

Besides, he was going to be a priest. Funny how he had to keep reminding himself of that. 

“I- thanks. I just thought if you were local...” Jacob sighed. “You know, we'd have another pint some time.” 

"Sorry. I'd take you up on that if I didn't have to head out.” Billy touched Jacob's cheek before he tucked himself back into his jeans. “Was good, though." Billy grinned. “Bloody good. You're fantastic, mate. I liked it a lot." 

"Will you be back?" 

Billy shrugged. “Hard to say. You never know what happens in the bush.” He put a finger to his own head and pretended to shoot. He must have seen the horror on Jacob's face because he did a surprising thing. He leaned forward and kissed Jacob. Right on the mouth. "Ta, mate. Jacob. I'll remember you.” 

Stunned, Jacob covered his lips with his fingertips, his eyes closed. He savoured the touch of Billy's lips on his. The kiss was nice! He opened his eyes at the sound of boots on brick. Looked around. Billy was sauntering down the alley. He turned and waved before he disappeared from sight. 

Jacob was stunned and it was a few minutes before he finally moved. He ran down to the road, looked toward where Billy had gone 'round the corner. The road was empty. Billy was gone. 

Two years later, Jacob took his vows. He hadn't had sex since that night and he never did again. He respected the oath of chastity that came with his vocation. His life was fulfilled. He prayed for Billy's safety and hoped he had a good life. In his prayers, he never asked for Billy's return. 

In his dreams, Jacob always, always asked. And Billy always came back for him. 

End

**Author's Note:**

> First published in the BistoCon 2016 Zine.


End file.
